Around here, we have a saying: “A clean hole gets the pole”.
Well, it’s better than the other saying: “Nobody wants to fuck a hole full of shit”.
You may be able to get by without douching if your top is wearing a condom, but still… why would you? Douching, or cleaning out, is hygienic, and leaves your ass edible and clean-smelling. And for many tops, there’s nothing nicer than a clean hole to fuck and breed.
If you’re a bottom or versatile, douching should be a mandatory part of your sexual preparation. Get into the habit with these following tips:
GET SET UP:
There are several options available to you as tools for douching. Some are more thorough, others more convenient.
- The Shower Shot: A complete setup which includes a diverter valve that attaches to the same pipe as your shower head, a sturdy gooseneck-type hose, and a special tubular aluminum nozzle. This is a must for the committed bottom. It’s easy to install, easy to regulate the flow, and costs under $50.00 in most cases.
- The Rubber Hose: A portable douching system that involves a rubber or clear vinyl hose that can attach to a sink faucet. Usually this type does not have a nozzle at the end, and the flow is a little harder to regulate. You can find these in adult novelty shops or pharmacies for under $20.00.
- The Shower Hose: This is an item that was designed for adding a shower attachemnt to older-style bathtubs and/or tubs without showers. They consist of a rubber fitting that attaches directly to the tub spigot, and a section of ribbed hose capped with a small plastic shower head. The head can be removed, allowing you to slide the hose up your ass. Available at pharmacies and Wal-Mart-type places for under $12.00.
- The Douche Bag, or Enema Kit: A set up consisting of a neoprene bag, a rubber hose, a plastic clamp, and a small plastic nozzle. The bag is filled with water and the clamp closed until ready for use. The system can be hung from a shower curtain rod or a hook, and it uses gravity as opposed to water pressure to make the water flow. Advantages are that any desired liquid can be used as a douche, it’s portable and packable, and since there are no metal parts, it can be carried on airplanes in a carry-on bag. The disadvantage is that the bag only holds so much liquid, and will need refilling for heavy-duty cleaning jobs. Available at pharmacies and sex shops for under $25.00.
- Personal Enema Kits: Packaged enema kits, like Fleet brand, are easy to get ahold of, terribly inexpensive, and require no setup. However, they only contain a few ounces of douching liquid which may not be enough to get a thorough job done. They are available in almost every pharmacy and supermarket, for under $7.00.
UP YOUR ASS, FAGGOT!
Once you’ve decided which douching equipment to use and you’ve gotten it set up, it’s time to take it for a test-drive. I wouldn’t advise waiting until you have a hot date at your home, naked and ready to go, before trying it out for your first time.
Regardless of which method you plan on using, the best place to try and accomplish this act is in the bathroom. That’s because you’re going to be flushing out your innards, and there’s a lot of stuff up there you aren’t going to want to have end up on your carpet. The best place for you to start is in the bathtub, provided that’s where your hose is hooked up.
STEP 1: Get the water ready.
Use lukewarm (tepid) water, not cold and not hot. If you’re using a douche bag, fill the bag with warm water. DON’T USE LIQUID SOAP WITH THE WATER. Soap is a detergent and can strip the inside of your rectum of good things as well as bad. If you’re using a hose attachment, get the water running gently. You don’t need to “power-wash” your hole. You only need to fill it with water.
STEP 2: Pre-lube your hole.
Smear a little lube around your ass pucker and slide a lubed finger up inside yourself. This will not only get you ready for inserting the hose/nozzle, but it may also let you know if you’ve got any fecal matter in the area.
STEP 3: Insert the hose.
Because this step can cause water to splash everywhere at the start, it is best to be in the tub before beginning. GENTLY slide the hose end or the nozzle up your ass until the spray tip is just past the sphincter. You shouldn’t treat the nozzle as a dildo. The point is to get the water to spray inside your ass, not fuck yourself on the thing.
STEP 4: Stop when you feel full.
You’ll feel the water begin to fill you. This will cause a bit of pressure, and you will start to get a sensation that your rectum is “full”. STOP, and slide the hose back out of your ass. The idea is to get enough water inside to loosen things up and help everything in your rectum come out, not to clean out everything all the way up your colon to your stomach.
STEP 5: Jiggle around a bit.
Before getting rid of the water inside you, take a moment to straighten up and jiggle around a bit. Knead your intestines by squeezing your abdomen a bit. You’ll feel a sort of sloshing inside. This is helping to loosen anything solid, and that’s the idea.
STEP 6: Get rid of the water.
Keeping your buttcheeks clenched, step out of the tub and go sit on the toilet. This is the best place to get rid of your dirty water. Some men prefer to stay in the tub to eliminate, but tub drains aren’t designed to manage that kind of waste. And what can result may not look or smell pretty. If you have a hair and lint catcher in your shower drain, you may find yourself ankle deep in dirty water should the strainer clog. So sit your bum down on the toilet and let it all come out. You should not need to force most of it out. Gravity will take care of the bulk of it. You may have to do a little intestine kneading (from the rib cage downward) and squeezing to get the last of it out, however.
FLUSH the toilet. That way, when you repeat the process you will be able to see how clean your water is coming out.
STEP 7: Repeat.
Get your ass back in the tub and do it again. Repeat steps 3 through 6 until the water comes out clean, Remember to avoid overfilling your ass with water each time, because water can get trapped in the twists and turns of your colon and come out at a later time when it would not be expected or appreciated by your top.
USING OTHER LIQUIDS
Of course, there are other liquids that can be used, but they are generally done as part of a scene and not part of general anal hygiene. If you’re going to use any of the following liquids it is recommended you do a preliminary and complete douching BEFORE taking any of these up your poop chute.
A piss enema can be fucking hot, both to the giver as well as the receiver. However urine contains salts and acids that can cause the rectal lining to lose elasticity. Urine also contains every substance the body has taken in and does not need (that can be broken down into liquid form). Some urine is considered to be sterile. Other urine is not. Urine also can contain a concentration of any drugs that have been in the body’s system, from aspirin to HIV meds and street drugs. These will also find their way into the bloodstream of the person receiving the piss enema, whether they want to receive them or not.
- Warm beer or wine.
Alcoholic beverages can be used like an enema, but caution should be exercised for a variety of reasons. The most obvious is that the alcohol will transfer to the blood stream quickly and strongly. Since there are no stomach acids to break down the content, a person taking beer or wine up the ass will get very drunk very quickly. The other reason is that alcohol absorbs the body’s natural moisture, and it can dry out the rectal lining making it less pliable. This in turn can cause the rectum to tear during even the most gentle sex.
BOTTOMS, BE GOOD TO YOUR TOPS!
Because fecal matter contains many microbes and organisms the body is ridding itself of, offering an unclean hole to your barebacking top is offering him the potential of disease. Even if you are STD-free, a little bit of feces from your hole can become trapped in his urethra and cause him the discomfort of NSU (Non-Specific Urethritis) which can mimic Gonorrhea in its symptoms. NSU’s are usually nothing more than a nuisance, but they can lead to other problems. And your topman may not be happy about spending a day at the local STD clinic and being taken out of sexual circulation, only to find out later on that there was nothing seriously wrong with him to begin with.
Getting into the habit of cleaning out before a date or going to a bath house is the nicest thing you can do for your topmen. And cleaning yourself out before a night on the town is a wise recommendation, because you never know if some hot guy (or guys) might just pick you up..
When it comes to the old standard of dinner followed by sex, I recommend doing it in the opposite order, since eating (yes, even snacking) will cause your body to start putting things in motion. Best to clean out, fuck your heart out, then go for a bite to eat. Besides, after a heavy sexual workout, you’ll be really hungry for something hearty to eat.