Dear Sir

Thank you for responding to me. I see that you are not interested in partying. I am not either. But someone I am concerned about states that he is. I have already had to lock him out of the house, but it has been harder to lock him out of my heart. He is gone.

Since he left he has stolen cars, been arrested six times in five states, gone to jail, jumped bail, got kicked out of the army after two weeks, been in and out of more relationships than clean pairs of socks. He's moved through ten states since he left here all in the last 20 months.

I did not know. Something was wrong and life here became stressful as he became increasingly irresponsible and emotionally volatile. I didn't know what was happening. But when I found out, I changed the locks. That happened when he disappeared for about a week. That's when I found out about meth.

I cannot take him back, this I know. But I have found it terribly difficult to quit caring. He calls here from time to time. I found out he was in Phoenix about 60 days ago. Within three weeks of his arrival, he was in a 30 day rehab: I think it was court ordered but I don't know how that works. He called here emotionally erratic, abusive, screaming threats and blaming me for his travails. All the time was talking 200 words per minute. I hung up on him after he said he never wanted to hear my voice again (he called me). The phone immediately began ringing nonstop so I disconnected it from the wall.

As soon as he got out of the 30 day rehab program he started posting these PNP profiles. I imagined the worst. But not knowing only allows the imagination to run wild. When I looked I found he'd posted five different profiles all searching for PNP, specifying his interest in sexual partners aged 15 to 47. There were also implications of prostitution and an interest in group sex scenes. He posted nude photos on his AOL Homepage, which prompted immediate AOL action.

I turned it in to AOL, and AOL advised me to turn it in to the police due to the seduction of minors. I was appalled. He stills puts up new profiles.

Seeing all of this development wrung blood from my heart.

I did not know about PNP: I don't need to wonder any more thanks to your kind response. I looked at the website you advised [Jack's Meth Lab]. It also confirms concerns and explains a lot of what I've observed.

It is deeply troubling to see someone you know and care for throw away his life into such an abyss of Hell. It is also a helpless feeling, one without hope.

Thank you for taking time to answer me and for listening. I only felt that I could share because you have lived this too.

I loved him. That wasn't enough.

Thanks, Steve